Saturday 11 March 2017

Moving forward....

And breathe..... 
Since arriving back from Antarctica I have taken myself out from the post-trail energy zapping low to the high thrill of being out there learning to kayak. 

Hikers, trail runners and outdoor folks will be able to relate to this. Is it because or caused when the realisation and experience of pure freedom hits the wall of 'normalisation' and trivia, or hormones? Who knows...

The last month has flown by... the intense but focused kayak training is in full swing and I am pleased that after 2 weeks of being on or near river water .... I am in a place where I seek and can work on grade three waters. So much has happened.... 




Of course there is still much to learn, practise and continue to refine and automise ... but thanks to Dan at riverstrokes.com .... much ground has been covered (more about this to come) and I cant forget Ollie at Monmouth Activities Centre (more on this too).

However, unlike previous trips, the feel, focus and considerations are different.... very different.. and miles away from the 'next chapter' thoughts as I stepped off the plane at Heathrow on 13th Jan 2017. Of course by the time I walked through the exit to the Heathrow carpark .... the 'hmmmm not done a jungle' thought had turned to stone. Amazing what happens within 1/2 hour... or was it a split second after walking through the doors...
Today, my thoughts turn to a serious survival mode... what if I lose my kayak in the rapids and I have to hike it through the jungle with only my wet suit and buoyancy aid? What if I come across the hostel interactions written about in books, speeches or the like? How will a lone female be perceived? What will I do if ..... one thing is for sure - the pirañas, crocs and snakes are probably the least of my worries - interestingly.  The list is endless but as time progresses, I am able to cross items off one by one. 

Interestingly again the folks around me respond in different ways at different times (¥¥¥¥) so suddenly 'rocks' become my anchor.... the rocks that dont twist and turn, mold or morph, judge ....who are straight up and reliable.... steady. These rocks will happily and clearly state 'I dont know' , will openly state their feelings but equally, after the statement, put them aside knowing that there is serious work to be done. Ultimately we can either emotionally mince around or actively develop skills that will ensure my safety.... 

What is clear- it will happen.

I dont have time for bravado, to try to convince folks, get folks on board so that they feel ok or 'get it', fit into their programmes or even convince them of the seriousness (and not) of this trip....nor even my intentions..... in short I dont have time to waste .... i just have time to focus, develop and refine skills that will provide me with calm to think, get  myself out of trouble when things go wrong and therefore get safely down the river. Yes, its cut throat.... but ultimately if I eye ball a shot gun barrel after losing my kayak because 'i was spending time passifying folks' ....or listening to the I 'shouldnt be kayaking on grade three after 2 weeks' and 'you need to learn about how to put on a sling of a 303 just because...' I am not sure how much 'regret' I will have if..... 

So that lot is in the back of my mind..along with training and resource planning for the trip.  Guess that leaves little time for anything else! 

Exciting times.... 




















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